1 Year

1 year... 52 weeks... 365 days... 8760 hours... 525,600 minutes...

One year ago today I randomly decided to walk into a Weight Watchers meeting.  One year ago today I was at my highest weight ever and beyond embarrassed.  One year ago today I was scared about going to the doctors office for a physical for fear of what that results may be.

Today I can say with pride that I have lost 40lbs.  Today I enjoy being active and going to the gym.  Today I am healthier than I have been in a long time.  Today is a new day on my journey.

While I know I didn't meet my goal of 52lbs in 52 weeks, I can't beat myself up too badly.  40lbs is nothing to snub your nose at...  Plus, it's a journey, not a race.

And if you were to look at my WW weight record, it probably looks just like this.  I've been gaining and losing the same 2lbs since mid January.  I haven't given up, but I haven't been as dedicated as I once was.  Life has gotten in the way, and thrown me quite a few curve-balls that I'm learning to deal with.  Regardless, I'm finally figuring out a routine of sorts so I hope to get past this crazy plateau that I'm hanging out on. 

This next year is going to be a good one... I can feel it.  And with the support of my amazing family and friends it's going to be even better.

So - let's do this... and welcome to year 2 of My Journey to Happy and Healthy!!

Eating Disorders and Personal thoughts

It was brought to my attention today that this week is National Eating Disorders Week.  Now while I agree that every week is some other kinda of awareness week... this one makes sense to me - hits a little closer to home.  Now, while I do not have an eating disorder, or at least not that I know of, I can follow the mentality of those who do.

Society's image of what is acceptable has most definitely caused much harm in how one treats their body. I don't think that eating disorders are all about body image, but moreso about self-worth or self-esteem.  Now that's something I know about, or rather the lack of...

For as long as I can remember, I never thought I was pretty.  I wasn't really part of any particular group or clique in high school or college, but I was friends with most everyone.  I was that girl with the good personality... not the pretty girl. I never had many boyfriends, but when I did, I would hold on to them until it was unhealthy because I didn't think I was good enough or pretty enough for anyone else.  I always attributed this to being overweight.  Fashion and clothing was always a big thing for me since I grew up with my grandmother living with us and she was a seamstress.  All the new styles and trends were always a topic of conversation in my house. Not being able to fit into 90% of those styles was always in the back of my mind.  So growing up overweight, and it constantly being shoved in your face that you don't "fit in", I can see where someone might go to extremes to achieve that acceptance.  While this is completely unhealthy, its a sad but true fact.

While I, personally, have grown out of most of those feelings, many people can't without help.  I still have days where I don't think I'm pretty, but those are few and further between.  I try to remind myself of all the accomplishments and successes I've had so far, and not let myself get bogged down in the numbers or how much I have left to go.

The past few weeks have been a struggle for me weight wise.  I've kinda plateaued, losing and gaining the same 2lbs.  I'm also obsessing about the scale, getting on it everyday - multiple times a day.  I know it's not all about the number, but when that number isn't moving, it gets frustrating.   I'm going to try to clean out my closet over the next few days to help me visualize what doesn't fit, so I can SEE that what I am doing is worth it.

This post is kind of all over the place, but I really just wanted to shed light on the fact that not everyone who is overweight is just fat and loves to eat fast food.  There are serious disorders that they may be facing.  You should never judge anyone, because you never know what their struggles are.

Also, if you, or someone you know may be fighting an eating disorder, please visit My Body Screening for more information

You win some... you lose some.

I've been meaning to post since last Tuesday and just haven't had a chance.  I went to WW on Monday and ended up gaining 1.4lbs.  I knew I was going to gain - I just was hoping it wasn't that much.  I do this every time I hit some kind of milestone.  I hit the milestone and that following week I throw all caution to the wind and end up gaining the following week.  I've got to break that cycle somehow.  But even though I gained, I tried to not let it get me too down and just keep moving forward with what I know is the right thing to do.

Although, I did have a great NSV (non-scale victory) on Tuesday!  When I woke up that morning I found out that I had a negotiation meeting scheduled with the Government that same day.  In my head I figured out that I would wear a pant suit that I had gotten about a year ago and had really only worn once.  I put the pants on and noticed they were definitely big, but I could roll them at the waist and it wasn't so bad...  but then I put the jacket on.  It was HUGE!  It made me look like a linebacker and 10x bigger than I actually am!  I quickly had to figure out something else to wear because it just wasn't even presentable!  I went through two more pairs of pants and another blouse before I could find something in my closet that was presentable for this Government meeting!  It really gave me the affirmation that all the hard work does pay off... and that it's time to go shopping! :):)

I've been on vacation in Atlanta since Thursday evening and the eating hasn't been the greatest.  I'll also be missing my WW meeting because we won't get back in town in time.  Regardless, I think I'm going to need this week to purge myself of the badness that this weekend has entailed!!!

Oh well - back on the wagon and back to the grind!!

I did it!!!

After 3 long weeks of trying to lose one pound to hit one of many goals... I finally did it this past week.  I weighed in last night and lost 1.4lbs for a total of 40.8lbs lost!!

I'm so excited.  I've still got a long ways to go, but so far it's been awesome.  I can't really tell a difference in the way I look day in and day out, but I can tell a difference in my energy and the things I can do now that are much easier and less laborious, which is awesome!  Even in Zumba - while I'm still ridiculously tired after class - partly because it's 6:15AM and partly because Annette, my instructor, worked our butts off - it's not as hard anymore.  But for more motivation for those next 11.2lbs (remember, my goal of 52lbs in 52 weeks), I made the below comparison.  NOW I see it! :)

Weigh-in results

Well...  It could have been worse. I gained 0.6lbs. I'm still less than a pound away from 40lbs lost so I'm vowing to try my best this to get there this week!!

Scared

So - I'll admit it.  It wasn't a good week.  For the first time (that I religiously tracked) I actually went negative in my weekly points.  I had a few days where I was completely insatiable.  So I'm going to go tonight to face the music, but it's not going to be a pretty sound!   I'm expecting a gain.  Even though I worked out 4 times this week, as the saying goes...

We shall see - Think skinny!!!

Holy crap!

I just left weight watchers and am still in shock! I lost 3 lbs this week.  That means I've lost 39.8lbs...  So close to 40 lbs gone forever,  and that much closer to my immediate goal! I'm so stoked!

Now to make sure I keep it off and keep moving in the right direction...  I'm going to relax my aching muscles so I can go to circuit training in the morning!

Immediate goal

While sitting at my parents house, I decided that by April 8th, I wanted to lose 15.2lbs.  That would mean that I would have lost 52 lbs in 52 weeks or 1 year!!! 

This also means that I have to lose on average of 1.2lbs a week for the next 13 weeks.  It'll be tight, but I think it's totally doable!

LET'S DO THIS!!!

Life

Life has thrown me quite a few curve balls over the last month.  I take that back - Life is testing me to my absolute limits, or at least that's how it feels. Without delving too deep, let's just say that I've had many more lows than highs over the holidays.  But even still - I've tried to maintain focus on my weight loss.  I managed to lose weight over the holidays which is always a struggle, but I lost about 3.5lbs since Thanksgiving.  Nothing huge - but it's better than gaining. 

I'm more focused and determined to make this my year.  I'm going to continue on my journey of weight loss.  I've started working out again - thankfully the early morning Zumba/Circuit/TurboKick classes are back!!  I'm going to work on mentally making myself a better person.  I want to get back into a church family.  And the most scary - I'm going to start my MBA.  I've been talking about it for over a year and the time has come to just make it happen.

So what are your goals for this year?