Eating Disorders and Personal thoughts

It was brought to my attention today that this week is National Eating Disorders Week.  Now while I agree that every week is some other kinda of awareness week... this one makes sense to me - hits a little closer to home.  Now, while I do not have an eating disorder, or at least not that I know of, I can follow the mentality of those who do.

Society's image of what is acceptable has most definitely caused much harm in how one treats their body. I don't think that eating disorders are all about body image, but moreso about self-worth or self-esteem.  Now that's something I know about, or rather the lack of...

For as long as I can remember, I never thought I was pretty.  I wasn't really part of any particular group or clique in high school or college, but I was friends with most everyone.  I was that girl with the good personality... not the pretty girl. I never had many boyfriends, but when I did, I would hold on to them until it was unhealthy because I didn't think I was good enough or pretty enough for anyone else.  I always attributed this to being overweight.  Fashion and clothing was always a big thing for me since I grew up with my grandmother living with us and she was a seamstress.  All the new styles and trends were always a topic of conversation in my house. Not being able to fit into 90% of those styles was always in the back of my mind.  So growing up overweight, and it constantly being shoved in your face that you don't "fit in", I can see where someone might go to extremes to achieve that acceptance.  While this is completely unhealthy, its a sad but true fact.

While I, personally, have grown out of most of those feelings, many people can't without help.  I still have days where I don't think I'm pretty, but those are few and further between.  I try to remind myself of all the accomplishments and successes I've had so far, and not let myself get bogged down in the numbers or how much I have left to go.

The past few weeks have been a struggle for me weight wise.  I've kinda plateaued, losing and gaining the same 2lbs.  I'm also obsessing about the scale, getting on it everyday - multiple times a day.  I know it's not all about the number, but when that number isn't moving, it gets frustrating.   I'm going to try to clean out my closet over the next few days to help me visualize what doesn't fit, so I can SEE that what I am doing is worth it.

This post is kind of all over the place, but I really just wanted to shed light on the fact that not everyone who is overweight is just fat and loves to eat fast food.  There are serious disorders that they may be facing.  You should never judge anyone, because you never know what their struggles are.

Also, if you, or someone you know may be fighting an eating disorder, please visit My Body Screening for more information